(via helloiamstoned)
im boring
i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said “we’re not catholic here”. now every time i’m doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.
(via helloiamstoned)
lichpresence-deactivated2020101:
owned
evicted
(via donaldblakeishere)
let me put this in terms that you can understand. if we catch you browsing futanari porn on the school library computers one more time, we are going to “isekai” you to a new high school.
(via stopaskingformykik)
i fucking lose it every time i drive past this billboard. what
(via neutroisadventures)
I appreciate Karl Jenkins bemused reaction to the theory that he, a 79 year old white Welsh man composer, is, in fact, a 41 year old black American woman from California.
I mean, how else do you respond to an accusation like that?
“Look, my moustache isn’t that cartoonish and silly, surely?”
Like, what is this scenario? It’s Scooby Doo and Fred rips off the mask to reveal: “Oh my God, it’s the Duchess of Sussex!”
And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling hardcore royalists.
(via neutroisadventures)